Last October, I had the opportunity to attend Culture Con’23 in Brooklyn, NY. Culture Con is a “conference that is dedicated to nourishing both your professional and personal growth while providing opportunities to gain valuable insights to help you excel in your career, network with other professionals, and stay up to date with the latest industry trends.”
As a young black professional, spaces like CultureCon hold great significance. The unequal representation of minorities in executive roles highlights the importance of such spaces. It is truly inspiring to witness successful black individuals, both women and men, excelling in their careers and providing hope and encouragement for their community and future generations to come.
Although I thoroughly enjoyed listening to many of the speakers at the conference, Dr. Joy’s interview offered me wisdom, insight, and an opportunity to think from a different perspective. The interview focused on the transformative power of vulnerability in sisterhood, offering a new blueprint for love, liberation, and healing in the community. Dr. Joy created a safe space for individuals to process healthy ways to resolve conflict, nourish relationships, and expand our understanding of true healing.
“You have not met all the people who will love you yet, so be open to new experiences.” – Dr. Joy Harden Bradford
This was powerful to hear because sometimes we allow our current predicament to play a role in how we view and see our future. However, it’s important to remember that there are so many people in this world and so many more connections to build and grow, don’t close yourself off.
Resolving Conflict
Dr. Joy shed light on how many of us were never taught how to resolve conflict and would choose to leave at first sight. As opposed to reflecting and being honest with yourself that something or someone hurt you and being willing to talk about it, especially in friendships. Being open and vulnerable enough to communicate your emotions and feelings does not come easy for everyone. We all process our emotions differently and react differently based on many things.
When we are honest with ourselves it creates a space of self-awareness, better decision-making, and allows us to gain clarity and understanding of the deeper issue. Without the ability to encompass emotional intelligence, you will never grow into your full potential. Not every relationship is worth throwing away because of a disagreement.
Mislabeling the terms: Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Trauma Bonding, and Gaslighting
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD): Dr. Joy spoke about how individuals commonly mislabel people as being a narcissist instead of understanding that it’s okay to label people as jerks. The percentage of people who meet the criteria of Narcissistic Personality Disorder is low. According to Cleveland Clinic, only 0.5% to 5% of people in the United States have NPD.
Trauma Bonding: Dr. Joy shared that commonly the term trauma bonding is mislabeled because people believe it’s when both parties have trauma, and they begin to bond over their trauma experiences. Trauma Bonding refers to someone who has been in an abusive situation and develops an emotional attachment to their abuser, similar to Stockholm syndrome.
Gaslighting: Dr. Joy discussed that gaslighting is not an everyday lie, gaslighting is a repeated behavior causing you to question your experience of reality. Someone being dishonest is not a form of gaslighting.
Key Takeaways:
- It is okay to say “ouch that really hurt me, can we talk about how that made me feel.”
- Uncomfortable conversations are a gateway to deeper connections and lasting relationships
- Ladies stop labeling that man as a narcissist, he’s just a liar… haha
- Be open to new connections! You have not met all the people who will love you!
“Times may be tough, but so are you, It’s okay to have a difficult day but don’t let that define your entire experience because you have been through difficult times before and you can get through this difficult time as well.” – Dr. Joy Harden Bradford
With love,
Desi
This was a dope read, thank you for sharing your experience. I will definitely make it in my plans to attend a Culture Con Conference.