Beautiful 25

What an amazing blessing it is to see another year. If you were to ask me at the age of 16 where I would see myself at the age of 25, some of my answers would probably consist of graduating from high school and college, working in the criminal justice field, planning a wedding or already married, and working on baby number one. LOL. Isn’t so funny how life works. There was really a time where I thought I had my entire life planned out well honestly that’s something I still struggle with, but it’s always been instilled in me to remember it’s not my plan but Gods plan and to trust and have faith in the process.

And although I’m not married nor have any children I’ve experienced, learned, and gained so much wisdom and knowledge that 16-year-old me wouldn’t have even been able to imagine…I want to share with you some things I have learned along the way of reaching Beautiful 25.

ENJOY & LIVE LIFE

I’ve always been someone who needed to be in control of everything happening in my life, which I’ve learned the hard way that I can’t control everything. However, I never want to look back and think “damn I wish I would have had more fun when I was younger.” I’ve learned to truly enjoy the process of life and to stop rushing but more so live in the moment. It doesn’t mean stop working towards your goals or not to care about anything but to understand that what’s for you will always be for you so enjoy life in the process. We all make mistakes and sometimes things in our lives take sudden turns but understanding that in the end you will be okay.

The Importance of internal self-care and healing

Although I know I’ll be a wiser Desiree three years from now, whenever I heard someone say “take time to truly understand who you are” I didn’t really grasp the concept because I thought “I’m me why wouldn’t I know who I am.” Until I started therapy a year ago and really started to take a deep dive into understanding why I may act and think the way I do in many of my relationships (family, friend and love wise). Part of learning me consisted of having uncomfortable conversations with those I love dearly, reading books focused on self-awareness and strengthening my relationship with God, dedicating time to things that brought me peace some included practicing yoga, listening to inspirational devotionals/healthy podcasts, and most importantly solely focusing on my myself by actively investing time and energy into pouring into my cup.

The power in letting go

Learning to let go was and still is a hard one for me. But I had to come to the realization that as much as I wanted to hold on to certain individuals in my life whether that was friendships or love wise, I had to understand that some people are only meant to be in our lives for a season and sometimes longer. I’m someone who values the relationships I have with people, and it sucks when you know the relationship is no longer serving you or beneficial to your mental health. Doesn’t mean these individuals are bad people but I firmly believe people come into our lives for a reason and sometimes we don’t understand until later on in life. But learning to let go with peace and love helped me close some chapters healthy.

Holding yourself accountable

Let’s face it sometimes we are the problem. Well I know that was the case for me in some instances. There came a point in my life where I had to learn to take a step back and analyze the situation from the other persons point of view. I’m not always right, I don’t have all the answers, and sometimes I’m wrong. Learning to take accountability has saved many relationships in my life and the quicker you learn to hold yourself accountable the more healthy, positive change you will see in your relationships.

Sisterhood…having a great circle of friends who share similar morals, values, and goals

Your friends are a reflection of you believe it or not. I absolutely love my sisters and can 100% say the roles each of them has played in my life has kept me so balanced. Having people around when it’s time to get lit and have fun is nice but what about those times when you feel like you’ve hit rock bottom and don’t even have enough energy to pray. There is nothing like having a great circle of god fearing, like-minded, supportive, and inspirational women around you who truly love and want the best for you. We can’t do it all on our own sometimes.

Once you ignore one red flag, you will be blind to all the others

Whew now this one is something. When I look back at some situations I must have had a blindfold on blinding me from all the signs LOL. But on a serious note, when you notice something that doesn’t sit well with your soul nor standards please don’t ignore it. Truth be told, when you ignore one red flag you start to ignore more. I’m not saying expect the person to be perfect but when you hold a certain standard for yourself, you are disrespecting yourself by choosing to ignore something that should be a deal breaker. Typically, it’s not until relationships end where people speak up about missing the signs. Save yourself the potential heartbreak and know when it’s time to exit before you suffer the consequences.

I would think this would be self-explanatory but sometimes many of us have found ourselves in situations of wanting to “prove our worth.” Yeah, let’s not do that anymore. It all starts with you and how you think, know and feel about yourself. You can’t expect others to treat you with respect or value you if you don’t value yourself first!

With love,

Desi